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It was peaceful here, yeah. And no, the dead didn’t rise up from their graves.
Harold, Cemetery Caretaker for 25 years.
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I don’t know, man. The living is giving me more problems than the dead. I got one magazine left and I don’t know if I should save this for the undead or for the other survivors who want to take things from us.
Tom, a Vietnam vet.
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I can’t get over how fast they all are, it’s not even fair. I’m calling zombie bullshit on that, you know? They’re not allowed to be so fast.
a horror movie buff College girl
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haha. hahaha! HAHAHAHAHA!
Last words of Jerry, stoner and pool repairman
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I’ve been around dead people for 25 years, grooming and dressing them up for their big day. Hell, I even talk to them. But I won’t forget that night. Just when I was about to prep a poor, old lady, her body began to twitch then… then she woke up! I was so terrified and ran home. I even forgot that I have a car!
Rose, a Mortician and Embalmer
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My wife who was in labor got bitten on our way to the hospital. She died after a couple of minutes. My unborn child ripped his way out of her mothers belly. It was so hard for me, but I had to kill it. I hope my wife, who is in heaven now, would understand.
Perry, an unproud father of a zombie baby
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I command you in the name of Jesus Christ to leave this persons body now!
last words of a Catholic Priest before he got bit by a zombie Nun
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Okay, they’re ugly, scary, and makes terrifying moans. I get it. You’re scared. They don’t fucking care. So get over it.
burningwind
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If those things kill me then I beat lung cancer.
Bob, a chain smoker of 55 years
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I swear to God, if you don’t shut up, I’m gonna leave you here with the zombies! If one panics, everyone panics. If everyone panics, everyones gonna die!
a leader of a Survivor group

an e-mail of an investigative reporter to his brother

Hey Steve, how’s it going? I got your e-mail. Here’s a summary of my investigations in the past few weeks. I know some of these sound crazy, but what the hell. You didn’t get this from me, okay?

  1. The virus came from China. If you remember a month ago, the Navy intercepted a cargo ship with illegal immigrants? When they opened one of the cargo containers, there were sick people. There were 25 of them. 6 dead and 19 terribly sick and dying. There were children too. 3 of them, I think.
  2. Get a load of this. The virus came from a “cursed” woman kept by the Catholic Church. The Vatican said the woman was being treated for exorcism but escaped. She was nowhere to be found. Crazy shit, huh?
  3. The Virus came from outer space. Remember the satellite that fell from the sky 7 weeks ago? Nobody fucking knows why the hell that happened. There’s also another story in the tabloids about a crashed alien ship in the Amazon River. LOL.
  4. There was also a report about a rare virus affecting animals. A rabies of some sort. It is said that it could also affect humans. If this is true I suggest you put your Lab inside the cage until this is over.
  5. There were rumors the virus came from the south. Louisiana. When it was hit by Hurricane George 3 months ago, the state was literally underwater.  It was 3 times worse than Katrina. I guess the Voodoo Gods got fed up with water and started cursing everyone.

    That’s about it. Take care of yourself, bro. Take care of mother. Remember, if these things start banging on the door, shoot their fucking heads. Don’t miss. I know you’re a bad shot even with a shotgun, haha. Kidding.

    Luke

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    Well, when we we’re called back home to deal with the “relief” effort, we all thought it was bullshit, until we put boots on the ground, but its pretty much easy as hell, just pop em in the brainpan, and they go down. Of course, this is a lot different from what they had us doing in Baghdad, or Tikrit. We have sustained zero casualties, while inflicting maximum damage on the infected indigenous personnel.
    Excerpt from an Interview with a Ravenwood PMC Contractor.
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    Mommy, why do people kill each other?
    Gina, 4 years old

    Excerpt from “The Zombie Hoax” by Harrison K. Welch

    All over the world reports have been flooding in of “Undead Uprisings” and “Zombie Attacks” and predictions of rapture and Armageddon from both religious fanatics and the youthful undergrounds spawned from the current internet age. If one believes these to be true then they have fallen trap to Average Man’s Syndrome, the tendency for one to believe the whims of the media and public opinion just because it is as such. I assert to those suffering from this horrendous disease to carry on through this book and begin to understand the nature of their mind and the nature of the world state.

    Although the idea of A.M.S. presented by Welch was controversial as well as profound, his assertions about the nature of the Mortuus Firmus Virus would eventually lead to his death.